MaryBlack Raven Sue: Volume One: Vampire Diaries
by 0oImmortalEyelinerGuyo0
Summary: The pink eyed, black and purple haired girl, Mary Sue, visits Mystic Falls. Tears and distruction follow in her wake. Humor, not to be taken seriously.
1. Meet Miss Sue!

**A/N: **Getting tired of reading stories with Mary Sues? Yeah, me too. So, I thought I would make the biggest Mary Sue I could think of and take a more...realistic approach. Expect humour. This idea wouldn't leave me alone, and I couldn't choose which fandom to write for. I decided to work with the ones I know, so expect this character to make appearances in other fandoms. Anyways, away we go. I guess this would be called Trolling, though I love the show...I don't know, you decide.

**Mary Sue: Vol. 1. **

**Vampire Diaries.**

Her black hair hung loosely around her shoulders, the purple streaks standing out in the bright light of the hallway. Her lowly cut shirt showed off her breasts in such a way it made her look trashy. She wore tight black jeans and high heels, almost tripping in them more than once.

But she didn't care.

_I'm so hot. _She thought, not noticing how narcissistic her thought was. She walked down the hall of Mystic Fall's high school. Her bright pink eyes scanning the people who were ' totally checking her out'. But if she looked closer, she would have seen the looks on their faces.

There was no admiration or lust in the gazes she was getting, mostly they were wondering how that girl managed to get her eyes so freaking pink. It was unnatural to have such a shade of eye colour.

The bell went off as she walked into the History class room, taking a seat near the front. Mr. Saltzman walked into the classroom, watching as his students filed in.

" Hello class." He greeted, " we have a new student, Mary-"

" -I will introduce myself!" Mary said, standing and moving her black hair behind her ear. " Thank you." She strolled up to the front of the class, Alaric moving so she could take charge. He looked around awkwardly, Mary cleared her throat.

" My name is Mary. Mary Sue." She started, " but I prefer the name Raven. Black Raven would be better, but of course you can call me Raven."

Elena frowned. _What the hell? Raven is not even close to her real name, she obviously chose the name for herself. _

" Why don't you tell us a bit about yourself, Mar-" Alaric started, but Mary rounded on him.

" Raven! My name is Raven!" She yelled, before stepping back. " And I think I will, thanks Alaric."

Alaric blinked, " how do you know my name?"

" I just do." Mary said, before smiling brightly. She obviously thought that was the best smile, but it looked like she didn't brush her teeth in a while. A student covered her mouth to keep from gagging.

" I moved here with my father after our mother was killed in a freak 'accident'." Mary paused to make air quotations before carrying on. " My father totally beats me, but you couldn't tell that because I don't have bruises! My hobbies are ice skating, drawing, dancing, singing, running, photography, knitting, advanced martial arts, and kick boxing." She said, boasting. " I play piano, guitar, fiddle, violin, bagpipes, drums, flute, trumpet, tuba, clarinet, trombone, and the triangle. I'm a kick ass climber and a bad ass vampire hunter. Oh! Right, sorry, _bunny hunter._"

A few of the students gawked, others shook their heads.

" Yeah, right." Stefan muttered to himself.

Alaric cleared his throat. " Okay, well thank you for all of that, Mary." He paused when she glared at him. " Raven, sorry."

" Thank you, Rick." Mary said, turning and walking back to her desk as Alaric continued on with his lesson. She placed a hand to her cheek as her elbow rested on the desk. She winked a pink eye at Alaric.

_He so wants me. _She thought, not bothering to take notes.

Why?

Because Mary Sue could ace this class without trying.

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><p>" Stefan!" Damon called a couple hours after Stefan had left school. Elena looked up when Damon came strolling over.<p>

" What is it, Damon?" Stefan asked, standing.

" Some pink eyed bitch kicked down the door." Damon stated, removing his hand from his mouth. " I was going to bite her, but she smelt so bad I had to get out of there."

Stefan blinked, looking confused.

" What?" Elena asked, " that Mary- Raven chick is here?"

" You know her?"

" Yeah, she was in our history class." Elena muttered, watching as Mary came around the corner, falling on her face because of her heels. She stood up and brushed herself off.

" Oh, silly me." She laughed, " I'm so clumsy."

" Mary?" Stefan asked, " what are you doing here?"

" Actually, I'm Mary-Black Raven Sue, now." She said, " and I'm here because I needed to talk to you!" She yelled.

Stefan shared a look with his brother and Elena. " About what?"

" You don't know?" She asked, looking at him like he was a moron.

" No, we don't." Elena, Stefan, and Damon said that the same time. They had the same deadpan stare on their faces.

" Wow." Mary said, crossing her arms. " You guys really are out of the loop. I thought you all would be awesome, intelligent, and beautiful- like me." She shook her head, " man, am I _wrong_."

Damon looked like he wanted to strangle her. Stefan cleared his throat.

" What are you here for, Mary?"

She crossed her arms, stomping her foot and looking away with a huff. She looked like a three year old, but, of course, Mary thought she looked drop dead beautiful.

" I'm not going to answer until you call me by the right name." She said, pouting like a bratty child.

Stefan sighed, " Fine. Mary-Black Raven Sue, what are you doing here?"

Mary beamed at him, " Oh, I love you Stefan!" She said, " but to the matter at hand, I came to tell you that I'm the only option that you have at killing Klaus!"

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><p>Here's first chapter, feel free to drop me a review. Or a flame, whatever you feel like doing.<p> 


	2. Powers

**Mary-Black Raven Sue:**

**Vol. One:**

**Vampire Diaries.**

Mary stared at the three of them, a big grin on her face. Elena and Stefan stared at her, frowns on their faces. Damon snickered before bursting out laughing.

" What?" Mary growled, " I'm really serious! I have magic powers!"

Damon laughed harder. " Ah, God." He chuckled, wiping a tear from his eye. " That's priceless."

" I'll show you!" Mary yelled, she held her hand out. The three stood, waiting for something.

Nothing came.

" My powers must not be working." Mary said, " hold on." She thrust her hand out again, " activate!" She screamed.

Still nothing.

" I'm sure that they will work when we're fighting Klaus." Mary assured, crossing her arms. " And I don't appreciate you laughing at me, Damon."

" How the hell do you know who I am?" Damon demanded, " I haven't introduced myself to you."

" I just know stuff, okay!" Mary yelled, growing angry.

" Okay, you need to calm down, Mary." Stefan said, walking towards her. Suddenly, Mary's pink eyes rolled to the back of her head and she passed out.

The three looked down at her.

" Oh, wow." Damon muttered, " she must have passed out from her own stupidity."

Stefan sighed, picking Mary up and placing her down on the couch. " Okay, so what do we do now?"

" I would have killed her a while ago if she didn't smell like sex and garbage." Damon muttered, shrugging when Stefan raised and eyebrow at him.

A few moments later, Mary opened her eyes. She gasped.

" What happened?" She asked, looking around.

" You passed out." Elena stated.

" But judging from your quick recovery, I say you're faking it." Stefan muttered, Mary sighed dramatically, crossing her arms.

" Okay, but it was only to get closer to you, Stefan." She said, her eyes changing to a light purple. " I love you." She whispered.

Elena glared at her, " He's with me. And what the hell is up with your eyes?"

Mary's eyes changed to a blazing red. " Shut up you cow!" She screeched, jumping over the couch and tackling Elena. Stefan managed to pull the deranged girl off his girlfriend. Mary screamed, kicking out.

" Let me at her!" She yelled, Stefan placed her down on the other side of him.

" Calm down." He said, trying to compel her. Mary just gasped, looking offended.

" How dare you try and compel me!" She yelled, " I loved you, Stefan! What we had was special, but I see you just want to throw that away." She looked down at the floor. Stefan looked at Elena, who was trying to fix her shirt. Damon stood back, an amused expression on his face.

Mary covered her face with her hand, letting out of a breath. She looked up, her eyes a icy blue now. " I know when my services aren't needed, I'll just go." She muttered.

" What services?" Damon asked, " you can't do anything!"

Mary turned again, eyes pink. " I would kill you if my powers were working."

Damon snorted, " right."

Mary walked over, nearly falling again in her heels. " You think you're so funny, huh? You think you're so awesome?" She lowered her voice, " you are _nothing_."

" What the hell is this chick talking about?" Damon asked, tilting his head.

" I'm so tired of you!" Mary yelled again, she sniffled. " I'm just a hot teenaged girl trying to figure out who I am, my father beats me, my mom was killed by a badger attack." She stopped, sobbing. " Oh, it was horrible. There was so many of them, and me and my dad barely made it out alive! The badgers rounded on us and I held my hand out, a bright white light shot out of my fingers and the badgers were dead."

Stefan looked at the three of them, Mary sucked in a breath.

" My dad turned to drink, beating me and I was told I was a freak! Am I a freak, Damon?" She asked, Damon blinked.

" Yeah, you are."

Mary's eyes turned red again, she let out some sort of cry, it sounded like a mix between a dieing whale and a scared cat. She threw herself at him, clawing at his face. Damon grabbed her neck and threw her backwards. Mary slid across the floor, her head smacking against the hardwood. She lay there for a few seconds before she stood, brushing herself off.

" Okay, I deserved that." She muttered, flicking her hair back. " But, can we please get back to Klaus?"

" No, there's no point." Damon muttered, " she's just some deranged chick with a god complex."

Mary pointed her finger at him. " Don't make me sick my tiger on you, Damon!" She yelled, before glancing around. " Yes, I have one." She smiled, " his name is Lesley."

Stefan sighed, " okay, enough with the tiger and attacking each other. Mary, go home or where ever."

Mary sighed, " alright. I'll just go where my services will be appreciated." She held her head up, turning and strutting down the hall, one of the spikes on her heels broke off, but she kept going. The door slammed with a resounding slam.

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><p><em>I can't believe this. <em>Mary seethed, walking down the drive way, she held her broken heel in her hand, finally realizing she couldn't walk in it. _I'm the most awesome person ever! I'm sure they will come crawling back to me, begging me to help them. Well, too bad, they don't know what they are missing! It's only a one time offer and they missed it. _

Her other heel snapped, she growled, throwing the shoes in the yard. That's what happens when she borrows her little sisters shoes. Who need shoes, anyways?

She heads back home, walking in where her dad smiled from behind the counter.

" How was school, sweetie?"

" Leave me alone!" She yelled, going to complain to her stuffed tiger. Lesley was the only thing that understood her.

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><p><strong>AN: **I'm sorry it's short. Next one should be longer. Thanks for the reviews so far. :) I only intend for this to be only about four to five chapters, so if there is another show you want Mary to visit, please, give me a shout out and I'll see what I can swing. :P


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